I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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