We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
