Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
