I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the condom got lost in my hair
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
