Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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