his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
