Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
