We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize