is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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