I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Randomize
