I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have already put on my inside pants.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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