nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Randomize
