So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
worst night to have a conscience
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
