My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
