LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
