are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
