Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
