wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
