just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Is Oprah even human
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
