garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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