she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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