He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
