we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
