If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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