Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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