yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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