His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
