Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
