I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Found the puke drawer
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
