I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
