just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
