I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
