So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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