I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
