I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
I don't think brook has ever known best
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I need to align my fucking chakras
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
