We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
