So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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