I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
how does that bad decision feel?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
