Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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