For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
