what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We talked him into tasing himself.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I supernannyed him into submission
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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