If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
