She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
