Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
