I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
