its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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