Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You took a bar mat shot.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
