this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
