And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
