Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
