where am i from again
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Randomize
