Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
